Category: Humorous

Are you doing your part for your Country?

Over dinner this evening, while my thoughts were running on a tangent I came up with a little idea that has subsequently rather amused me.

Currently politicians all over the world love to wax lyrically about carbon offset trading schemes as a way to save the country from the scourge of global warming.

Given that another issue that concerns our politicians is the fact that Australians are not breeding rapidly enough to replace the population, and people with higher levels of education are even less likely to have more than 2 children, I feel that an opportunity exists for some pro-active government policy to reverse this problem. To be specific, I propose we establish a

Bogan offset trading scheme!!!

People who are above average education or intelligence but who don’t want kinds could subsidise other intelligent people who are inclined to have more than two kids to do so.

This way we could both encourage population growth, and increase the reproductive output of the  intellectual elite of the nation, to offset the thousands of poor bogan babies born annually to people who cannot figure how to use a condom, let alone raise a child.

It’s win win!!

(and this is the point where I stand back and prepare to receive the avalances of “You can’t say that!!!” emails from people who didn’t get the joke)

Noteable

 I saw a sticker on the back windows of a ute the other day which made me laugh, and read:

Eat Moose – 10,000 wolves can’t be wrong

Best Bush T-shirts

On a site that posts the kind of internet humor that regularly ends up in your email inbox in the form of FWD:fwd:re:Fwd… <insert caption here>, I found the following amusing little list of best Bush T-shirts. My favorites are 1, 16 and 18.

Best Bush T-Shirts

Posted February 11, 2007

1) (On an infant’s shirt): Already smarter than Bush.

2) 1/20/09: End of an Error!

3) That’s OK, I Wasn’t Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

4) Let’s Fix Democracy in This Country First

5) Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

6) You Can’t Be Pro-War And Pro-Life At The Same Time

7) If You Can Read This, You’re Not Our President

8) Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

9) George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

10) Impeachment: It’s Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore

11) America : One Nation, Under Surveillance

12) They Call Him “W” So He Can Spell It

13) Which God Do You Kill For?

14) Jail to the Chief!

15) Who Would Jesus Torture?

16) No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade?

17) Bush: God’s Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap

18) Bad president! No Banana.

19) We Need a President Who’s Fluent In At Least One Language

20) We’re Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

21) Rich Man’s War, Poor Man’s Blood

22) Is It Vietnam Yet?

23) Bush Doesn’t Care About White People, Either

24) Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

25) You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.

26) Impeach Cheney First

27) Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too

28) When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46/gal!

29) The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

30) 2004: Embarrassed – 2005: Horrified – 2006: Terrified

31) Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Cheers Big Ears (Part 2)

You sass that hoopy Douglas Adams? Now there’s a frood who knew where his towel was.

If you understood even half of that preceeding sentence you would probably appreciate the concept of International Towel Day (May 25th), where you are encouraged to carry your towel, and appreciate all those wonderful things that Douglas Adams brough into our lives.

Having recently re-read the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy (a trilogy in 5 parts) I love the idea, and can’t wait for the opportunity to wear my towel and wave my elecrtonic thumb.

Wrap your laughing gear around this…

Today slashdot mentioned the ending of an internet show which I had never heard of, but which apparently included the handing out missions to it’s viewers, and one of these had been to make an earth sandwich.

Think of it. Placing one piece of bread in one spot on the ground, and then placing (or coordinating with other people to place) another piece of bread on the exact opposite side of the world, thus creating an earth sandwich. I just love the imagery..

The Santa hat

Today, in response to a bet from one of the midwives, I wore a Santa hat to work.

Essentially the bet had been that I wouldn’t do it, and we all know how dangerous it is to bet me (with my well known stubborn and competitive streaks) that I won’t do something. (Just ask my friend James about the $10 challenge, or, on second thoughts, don’t…)

Anyway, the odd thing was how few people questioned, commented, or even appeared to notice the hat.

Big red hat with a pompom on the end. You’d think that would provoke a response or two, but people just seemed to take it in their stride.

Perhaps they just assumed I was really getting into the christmas spirit(s).

Bunnies in space

[No, this post is not dealing with the astronautical talents of Hugh and his associates]

This evening I watched Wallace and Grommit: The curse of the were-Rabbit.

Upon seeing the BunVac 6000 in action I was immediately taken by how cool the rabbits looked floating around in the vacuum chamber, and though that rabbits would really be damn cool in outer space.

Should I ever find myself in a position of owning a space station (make that when I own a space station) I think I shall have to test it out.

I also saw a brief thing on TV this evening about a family that was raising an orphaned baby rock Wallaby, who was also very very cute, and I think they’d go quite well up there too…

Happy VD

(This is something of an extremely retrospective blog entry, given that the initial idea was laid down 6 months ago)

Today is St Valentine’s day, with all the corporately driven romantic BS that goes with it. Sure, I did some stuff to remind Simone that I really like her (a lot…) and that the only times I find our relationship frustrating are those times I can’t be with her, but I still was generally sceptical about the whole “you should express your affections today because Hallmark say so” sentiment underlying it all (did you know that Japan has separate Valentine’s type days, one for men to give to women and vice versa?).

That aside, I think that the funniest part of the day was when Sarah, one of the ortho reg’s I’m currently working with, arrived and announced to everyone in earshot, “Good morning everyone, Happy VD”. Now of course we all got the double entendre and chortled accordingly. Just like VD, Valentines days was one of those things that you ended up having inflicted upon you when you fell in love, and were cursed with for the rest of your life, whether you were still in love or not. 🙂