I always find it very hard when I remember or am reminded (as I was at James’ wedding) of the degree of animosity that my ex-girlfriend Jess feels towards me, and it always leaves me enormously saddened, because she was for a long time an immensely important part of my life and I still find that I miss her company, even just as a friend. I also have great troubles with my conscience which points out that the degree of ill will she feels towards me is a direct manifestation of how much she felt hurt by me, and I literally hate the fact that I could have unintentionally hurt another human soul so deeply, let alone one whom I had always previously sought to nurture and protect.
Month: November 2005
The avoidening
I always find it very hard when I remember or am reminded (as I was at James’ wedding) of the degree of animosity that my ex-girlfriend Jess feels towards me, and it always leaves me enormously saddened, because she was for a long time an immensely important part of my life and I still find that I miss her company, even just as a friend. I also have great troubles with my conscience which points out that the degree of ill will she feels towards me is a direct manifestation of how much she felt hurt by me, and I literally hate the fact that I could have unintentionally hurt another human soul so deeply, let alone one whom I had always previously sought to nurture and protect.
Underestimated
It has been many years since I last saw my old high school friend Rebekah, and while I had always appreciated that she was smart, given that she was on the school’s top debating team with me, and was better at it than me (as was the other girl on the team, which frequently left me with the paranoid suspicion that perhaps I was only there as the token male), she had always managed to be smart in a quiet and unassuming way.
Then she went off to uni, got her law degree, and got a job, and I didn’t see her for a number of years.
Today I ran into her in the lead up too James’ wedding, and in the evening watched her do a crossword as part of a group. Now almost the entirety of the group had university degrees, but Rebekah was leading the pack, and you could almost see the cogs of her mind flying around, and I was left with the inescapable impression of being in the presence of something of an intellectual giant.
Underestimated
It has been many years since I last saw my old high school friend Rebekah, and while I had always appreciated that she was smart, given that she was on the school’s top debating team with me, and was better at it than me (as was the other girl on the team, which frequently left me with the paranoid suspicion that perhaps I was only there as the token male), she had always managed to be smart in a quiet and unassuming way. Then she went off to uni, got her law degree, and got a job, and I didn’t see her for a number of years.
Today I ran into her in the lead up too James’ wedding, and in the evening watched her do a crossword as part of a group. Now almost the entirety of the group had university degrees, but Rebekah was leading the pack, and you could almost see the cogs of her mind flying around, and I was left with the inescapable impression of being in the presence of something of an intellectual giant.
Young and foolish
It’s kind of odd being back in Canberra, the scene of so much of the fun and mischief of my youth (don’t I sound like an old man…). It’s been almost 3 years since I’ve last been here, yet wherever I go I’m reminded of the good old bad old days, and the (often foolish) things I did back then (such as walking from the airport to the city one time because I was poor and I could).
At the same time the constant flood of memories is far from being an entirely good thing, as it reminds me not only of the exuberances and pleasures of the past, but also of my misguided indiscretions and personal shortcomings that occurred in this town during that period. Still it’s nice to see it again, and catch up with friends who I haven’t seen in far too long a time…
Blasé flying
I have spent so much time on planes recently that I am beginning to get a bit sick of it.
I still remember the days (not all that long ago in the grand scheme of things really) that flying on a plane was a significant thing, which you only did for important trips or when you were feeling extravagant. These days you seem to get on a plane for everything more than going across town to aunty Maureen’s for tea and scones.
I now almost go “oh no, not another trip on a plane” whenever I have to fly, because it means another cramped trip with too-dry air and limited entertainment options.
I always rely on the kindness of strangers
Today I made a major error of judgment and relied on the Public transport as part of my getting to the airport plans. Having arrived back at the hospital in time I wandered across to the train station in the rain, to find that there was a blockage on the line which had stopped all trains going into the city.
After a bit of cursing I managed to find another person who needed to get into the city and we agreed to share a taxi. Of course everyone else must have had the same idea, and we couldn’t get through to the taxis on the phone.
At this point I was starting to get a little anxious.
Then out of almost nowhere one of the other passengers waiting on the station asked if we were trying to get into the city, and offered us a ride, seeing as she was now going to have to drive in to the city so that she could get to work.
So I ended up getting a ride with a uni student in her early 20’s from west Australia in a souped up little Mitsubishi.
What can I say. I love the kindness of strangers. It absolutely saved the day…
Blasé flying
I have spent so much time on planes recently that I am beginning to get a bit sick of it. I still remember the days (not all that long ago in the grand scheme of things really) that flying on a plane was a significant thing, which you only did for important trips or when you were feeling extravagant. These days you seem to get on a plane for everything more than going across town to aunty Maureen’s for tea and scones. I now almost go “oh no, not another trip on a plane” whenever I have to fly, because it means another cramped trip with too-dry air and limited entertainment options.
I always rely on the kindness of strangers
Today I made a major error of judgment and relied on the Public transport as part of my getting to the airport plans. Having arrived back at the hospital in time I wandered across to the train station in the rain, to find that there was a blockage on the line which had stopped all trains going into the city.
After a bit of cursing I managed to find another person who needed to get into the city and we agreed to share a taxi. Of course everyone else must have had the same idea, and we couldn’t get through to the taxis on the phone.
At this point I was starting to get a little anxious.
Then out of almost nowhere one of the other passengers waiting on the station asked if we were trying to get into the city, and offered us a ride, seeing as she was now going to have to drive in to the city so that she could get to work.
So I ended up getting a ride with a uni student in her early 20’s from west Australia in a souped up little Mitsubishi.
What can I say. I love the kindness of strangers. It absolutely saved the day…
Young and foolish
It’s kind of odd being back in Canberra, the scene of so much of the fun and mischief of my youth (don’t I sound like an old man…). It’s been almost 3 years since I’ve last been here, yet wherever I go I’m reminded of the good old bad old days, and the (often foolish) things I did back then (such as walking from the airport to the city one time because I was poor and I could). At the same time the constant flood of memories is far from being an entirely good thing, as it reminds me not only of the exuberances and pleasures of the past, but also of my misguided indiscretions and personal shortcomings that occurred in this town during that period. Still it’s nice to see it again, and catch up with friends who I haven’t seen in far too long a time…